Chav-tastic

It’s like living on Main Street Malia.

It’s Saturday night in Partington and its Chav-tastic!

Next door have had a BBQ today and now it’s a full blown party, there are people in the front garden and people in the back garden.

Over at the back of our house there is as with most Saturdays fighting and shouting followed by a stabbing but they use blunt butter knifes and don’t even cut the skin. I’m not a fan of the stabbing culture in Brittan at the moment it seems to be out of hand and even little kids are stabbing each other with pretend knives made from Play-doh. BUT......BUT it wouldn’t hurt (me at least) if there were a few lest knob heads around!

At the front there is a gaggle of goon’s sat on the green all under the age of 2 and drinking until they can no longer see in multi tones.

And somewhere around the back again there are fireworks. IN APRIL!!! Now my dog is running around trying to find shelter while I’m trying to watch CSI: New York.

 

OK so I might sound like a fuddy duddy but why don’t people go out around here??? I said in a previous blog that the busses stop at 6pm as a cheaper alternative to electronic tagging as the only way out of Partington is to walk or steal a car and with both instants the people doing said crime or walk are either to knackered from the walk or to pre-occupied with the police anyway to commit any other crimes. So it works doesn’t it?

Now next door I don’t know how to spell what sound I made before but it would be a little like ggggggrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know how much more hard house I can take. It’s just hard house but they are playing with my music now! Yes Kings of Leon are playing and they are all singing ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my sex is on fiiiiiiirrrreeeeee! There the only word these fecker’s know and they have now played this song about 17 times in a row. OH GOD! The Outhere brothers, boom boom boom. Now that was a good song when I was 9 but not now, not now I’m 24. Jebus H Christ I sound old.

I must admit I’m never home on a Saturday night I’m normally in London with my girlfriend or out with friends and stay with my mum who lives’ on the quietest street known to man well in Sale anyways. Also I’m hung-over last night I went to a friend’s house and we all drank Jelly Shots. We had strawberry and champagne jelly, orange and peach snaps jelly and lime and Malibu jelly. Mix that with all the beer and drinking games you can say we was a little worst for where. So it could just be the fact I’m hung-over or that I’m completely board out of my skull that I’m having this little rant or maybe I would have had this rant anyways if I was my normal happy self or had something to do!

One thing that did make me giggle today though was a headline I saw, it’s a few days old but it read ‘Stephen Hawkins will make full recovery’ now I thought are they just going to turn him off and then back on again? Or was he just messing with us all this time? Turns out I was wrong in both cases and he just had bad chest problems.

 

Thanks for reading children

G